Kim's belly is getting Tina Kendall huge...okay, that's like comparing short skinny guys to fat girls with greasy hair...not that Kim is a man. It's just that, he doesn't kick as much as he used to, which of course saddens his daddy.
The point is Kim is the sexiest pregnant woman out there. From the front, or the back, you can't tell she is pregnant. I think I saw some laces in her belly. What, the mark of the beast on Jax's forehead...no, that's Spalding(r) (registered to keep from getting sued by Kobe Bryant, or the victim.
The point is, Jax is running out of real estate. He has as much acreage as Yoko Ono in Tokyo. Poor fella. His 4 lb, 15 inch body is crammed into a fetal knapsack meant for a PB&J and some cheap cookies mom used to get us at the run down wonder bread store in Lacey...as a reward for enduring endless hours of shopping. One time she made me buy them myself. At the time I thought I was getting a steal--$1 for 500 vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry cookies with white crisco in the middle. The quantity overrode the quality and oxygen had raped the cookies of any crunch...who cares at 5 years old when you first learn to tie a shoe or wipe properly. Not until Mom tried to get Brandon to pop ear blackheads with a bobby pin (she probably kept) has injustice so occurred as the deception of the Wonder cookie.
Why do movies and TV shows depict female officers of the law as busty bombshells with tiny wastes and thighs that could kill an anaconda? I've seen 3 women cops in my day. 1, the detective lady from church. 2, the 7 foot amazon women who responded to the meth freaks who rear ended me in Christie Holts car. She almost ate them. At least 220 and could bench press a tow truck. The mullet headed cut off jeans shorts wearing (they were thigh highs) toothless Javelin driving crapfaces (nice wheels on the car) almost got killed by Xena's ugly sister. I bring this up because of the 40 year old cop hitting on the guy in from Justin to Kelly after she gave him several tickets.
Last, I get to go to Florida next month. I've never been east of Park City, UT...I'm excited about the adventure of humidity AND heat. More so, I get to see the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean. I'm going to swim in pirate waters and go fist-to-cuffs with Carcharhinus limbatus. I will win. I will visit shark tooth beach...to out wit a shark you must think like a shark. If he goes left and tries to flank you, perform an outside pivot parallel to the horizontal sceptor of sunlight. If he comes at you head-on, duck. From the right, extend your heal into his nose in a kicking motion, yelling, "Cobra Kai." I'm ready for them.
Kim likes to walk at night....every night. She could walk for hours and miles and miles. Our long walk became our regular walk. Our longer walk took its place....Now we run...she is almost 8 months pregnant yet we run...well, jowalk. I guess it's good for me.
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